Living with Anxiety and Panic

Wednesday, June 4, 2008
My life has been an incessant round of Anxiety and panic because of abuse that I suffered as a child. I am so grateful that the abuse was NOT in my home, but occurred in the neighborhood in which I lived. I have worked for many many years to get the anxiety and panic under control with self help programs, diet changes, acupuncture, relaxation, craniosacral therapy and many other wonderful things that have improved my life dramatically.
As a child I was always very fearful and I was sick most of the time. I think I spent almost as much time at home in bed being sick than I ever spent in school. I had problems with tonsillitis on a very regular basis and that led to a lot of allergies (hay fever) and asthma by the time I was 10 years old. I had attention problems and learning difficulties which we didn't have any answers or information to help me with until I was in my late 30's. I was very, very shy and was embarrassed easily. I grew up fearful and angry and whenever I did accomplish anything good, fear and anger were the emotions that got me there. If I wanted to do something good and someone told me that I couldn't accomplish that task, it was like being dared, so I jumped in with both feet. That is a very hard way to live. It is very exhausting because I couldn't relax and learn. I always felt like I was being watched which only heightened my anxiety.
I could never relax in public for fear I wouldn't measure up to every one's expectations. I wasn't a good leader because I wanted to please everyone. When life was good I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop so I could never really enjoy it. I had a very difficult time controlling my thoughts and I was always imagining the worst. I couldn't sleep at night because I couldn't turn my brain off and if I heard a noise outside I would imagine my house being surrounded with bears or lions or something very ridiculous which again would increase anxiety and panic.
Thankfully I have found many options that have helped me turn my life around. My husband and children have been amazed at the changes in me.
To anyone who reads this I just want to say, Hang in there and keep looking for answers. Life doesn't have to be miserable. It takes a lot of hard work to make changes in your life and find peace but it is worth it. I hope that my link on Anxiety and Panic will help you.
Even though I have already learned a lot over the years, this program had some great ideas that I haven't considered. I tried some of the new ideas 2 days ago because I went into a panic attack about my Monday phone call from my coach who is helping me with my new website and this blog. My panic has been a natural occurrence since George and I decided to sign up for these Internet classes. I have always been terrified of new technology. I tried one of the techniques in this ebook and it really worked for me. By the time I spoke to my coach I was so excited about what we were doing that even he noticed a difference in my ability to work through his instructions. It was great.